I AM SO ANNOYING ON FACEBOOK THAT A FRIEND HIDES ALL MY STATUS UPDATES LIKE A BOSS

Let’s agree to just disagree
We don’t have to like each other but it’s sure fun to pretend
From Only Prettier by Miranda Lambert

 

WORD OF THE DAY
an·noy
əˈnoi/

verb
irritate (someone); make (someone) a little angry.

archaic
harm or attack repeatedly.

EVERYONE IS ANNOYING – A RETALIATION OF A PERSON PERSECUTED TO BE ANNOYING
Today marks a home stretch.  My emotions are like a bellowed balloon that is one gentle blow away from bursting. It is not going away, and it gets closer to my skin everytime I see the name on Facebook or when we are in the same room.

It is funny how things started, or where: On Facebook.  Yes, it is where professionals like me find “the enemy.”

Let’s face it. I am a bit annoying on the social-networking platform, or based on what I have read so far, and insofar as self-unaware, self-righteous people’s (the “Lords”) opinions on Facebook behavior standards are concerned, I am really annoying.  Please refer to the following Facebook misdemeanor checklist:

  • You are annoying if you have taken a selfie (in a matter of two selfies per hour).
  • You are annoying if you rant about a rat squirming inside your cupboard, or a cockroach flying over your head, or about your boss who acts like a rat or cockroach at the same time or in between intervals.
  • You are annoying if you “like” or share something too awesome, like a kangaroo eating a dead penguin in Australia or about Justin Bieber charged with another DUI.

Okay.  I have done stuff like that, well not exactly exaggerated as those above, but yes I have done stuff like that. And I know that it is quite annoying sometimes. But, cast me all the stones that you have now if you have not done such “terrible” things on Facebook. They are not really terrible. It is just people always find a way to take away something that’s literally makes you happy.

ACTING LIKE YOU CARE BUT YOU DO NOT
There is this very interesting feature on Facebook that allows a person not to receive any notification or, at least, hide some or all of “friend’s” status updates if a person feels too damn-straight irritated about everything that so-called “friend” has something interesting in mind to post. Of course that’s very helpful. I have used that one too often: your manager’s post that is NOT really you friend, or a distant relative acting like he knows you like the back of his hand, or an ex-girlfriend’s closest friends that you are not very invested with and deleting them from your friends’ list will bring more ruckus than seeing that the your previous girl has finally moved on.  Those are the cases that you can use the feature.

But would you do this to someone you talk to a lot and spends time with you a lot? It is like going to a bank, investing all of your money in it but not really caring about whether it earns interest or not.

WHATCHADOIN’?
So he told me that I am annoying and was so thankful that Mark Zuckerberg has given him the freedom to do this to anyone he finds annoying.  Okay, he doesn’t care about anything that interests my humble little brain. I guess that’s fine. But hey, please do not message ‘What’s up?” during the weekend and ask if I could go for a drink or two.  Had you not been hiding behind Zuckerberg’s invention you would have known that I plan to sleep all weekend, fucking everyone in my fucking dreams!

BOTTOMLINE
I am awesome. I guess you are just annoyed that you have no capacity to feel the same way. But I guess I am annoying at times. But, hell yeah, at least I have some sort of epiphany: that I am awesome and annoying, and you are stuck at your stupid calculation.

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